Everyone is enthralled with the Most Interesting Man in World, John Goldsmith. His appearance in Dos Equis commercials spanned from 2006-2016, and we have gotten some amazing quotes from him! Before him, we thought Chuck Norris was the greatest human of all time. Now, we know, there was no comparison.
So, buckle up! These true quotes, or dare I say claims, about the Most Interesting Man in the World will help you settle debates with your friends. Enjoy these quotes that cover everywhere from his legendary status to him defying nature. These 101 quotes will blow you away, just like his beard!
Reversing the Roles
- His feet don’t get blisters, but his shoes do.
- He once went to the psychic, to warn her.
- Panhandlers give him money.
- When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls.
- He taught Chuck Norris martial arts.
- Freemasons strive to learn HIS secret handshake.
- The circus ran away to join him.
- When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring.
The King of Legends
- Superman has pajamas with his logo.
- The Holy Grail is looking for him.
- Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him.
- He once turned a vampire into a vegetarian.
- Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him.
- He once caught the Loch Ness Monster with a cane pole but threw it back.
- His wallet is woven out of Chupacabra leather.
- If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him
- If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.
- Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died.
- His tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
- Bear hugs are what he gives bears.
- If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn’t be dark.
- He once won a staring contest with his own reflection.
- When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it.
- The dark is afraid of him.
- Sharks have a week dedicated to him.
- He once made a weeping willow laugh.
- He once taught a German shepherd how to bark in Spanish.
- A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush.
- Roses stop to smell him.
- His sweat is the cure for the common cold.
- He never wears a watch because time is always on his side.
- He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks.
- Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect.
- Time waits on no one, but him.
- He has never walked into a spider web.
- He is left-handed. And right-handed
- His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda triangle.
- While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of the Great White with his right hand.
- He can kill two stones with one bird.
- Whatever side of the tracks he’s currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks, he’ll still be on the right side.
- His ten-gallon hat holds twenty gallons.
- He once started a fire using only dental floss and water.
The Most Interesting Beard in the World
- Werewolves are jealous of his beard.
- His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
- His organ donation card also lists his beard.
- No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard.
- He once won a fist fight, only using his beard.
- He gave his father “the talk.”
- He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket.
- In museums, he is allowed to touch the art.
- When he was young, he once sent his parents to his room.
- The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
- His mother has a tattoo that says “Son.”
- His passport requires no photograph.
- His Cinco de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March.
- He can speak Russian… in French.
- His signature won a Pulitzer.
- He has won the lifetime achievement award… twice.
- On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
- He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks.
- Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut.
- Two countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality.
- When in Rome, they do as HE does
- The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM.
- The star on his Christmas tree is tracked by NASA.
- Presidents take his birthday off.
- He was on a recent archaeological dig and came across prehistoric footprints that lead out of Africa into all parts of the world. On close inspection, it turned out that the prints were his
- He is considered a national treasure in countries he’s never visited.
- His shadow has been on the ‘best dressed’ list twice.
Everyday Things…For Him
- When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value.
- He never says something tastes like chicken. not even chicken
- His friends call him by his name, his enemies don’t call him anything because they are all dead
- He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool.
- He once won a staring contest with his own reflection.
- He lives vicariously through himself.
- His business card simply says, ‘I’ll Call You.”
- If opportunity knocks, and he’s not at home, opportunity waits.
- He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
- His blood smells like cologne
- His hands feel like rich brown suede.
- When he holds a lady’s purse, he looks manly.
- His pillow is cool on BOTH sides.
- His shirts never wrinkles.
- He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
- His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
- Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
- Even his tree houses have fully finished basements.
- If he were to say something costs an arm and a leg, it would.
- He is the life of parties that he has never attended.
- Cars look both ways for him, before driving down a street
- He once tried to acquire a cold just to see what it felt like, but it didn’t take.
- He has inside joked with people he’s never met.
- Bikers walk their motorcycles past his home.
Sports and Games
- He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds.
- He bowls overhand.
- He is allowed to talk about the fight club.
- He once won the Tour-de-France but was disqualified for riding a unicycle.
- He once won the world series of poker using UNO cards.
- Once he ran a marathon because it was “on the way”
- He’s never lost a game of chance.
- He played a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded magnum and won.
Did you find a quote that you can share with your grandchildren one day when recounting tales about this man? Which one stood out to you the most? Although it can be hard to believe these them, we know, deep down, they’re true. Thanks so much for reading all about the man, the myth, the legend: The Most Interesting Man in the World.
Were there some quotes we missed? Which quote was your favorite? Feel free to leave a comment down below! Also, please make sure to check out our other posts for more interesting content and entertainment!
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