Is there anything in the world cuter than a baby? Every year, expecting mothers and fathers get to share magical moments with one another preparing for their child. With that comes pregnancy, baby showers, the birth itself, long nights, and millions of diaper changes.
It can be a long, difficult, yet amazing, process. It’s also a great opportunity to laugh at some puns and jokes about the process! Parenthood brings humor, laughter, and most importantly, dad jokes!
Therefore, we have a compiled a list of 34 different jokes about babies, pregnancy jokes, baby shower jokes, and some great dad jokes about babies. So, as you are in between diaper changes and feedings, we hope you can enjoy these fantastic baby puns!
Baby Shower Puns and Jokes
1. Wife: Our baby shower is tomorrow, and I have no idea what to wear! What do you think I should wear? Husband: Probably a bathing suit.
2. Do I have to have a baby shower? Not if you change the baby’s diaper quickly.
3. Child: “How long does this baby shower take?” Dad: “Well, it depends on the size of the baby.”
4. Q: What do pregnant women think about in the shower? A: Baby Shower thoughts.
5. Godmother: “Settle down for a second. I have a few words to say.” Crowd: *Goes Silent* Godmother: “Let’s raise a toast to the bun in your oven!”
6. Daughter: “Dad, will you be coming to the baby shower?” Dad: “I’d prefer a full-size shower.”
7. How did the baby tell his mom he had a dirty diaper? He sent her a pee-mail.
8. What’s a breastfeeding baby’s least favorite holiday? Hall-o-wean.
9. Do you know what a baby computer calls his father? Data!
10. Do you know why babies born on holidays are more likely to be girls? Because there is no mail delivery on holidays.
11. Did you hear about the woman that decided to travel to the ocean to have her baby? She needed a sea section.
12. How can you tell if you had a baby snake? It has a rattle.
13. Where do baby ghosts go when their parents are at work?? Dayscare.
14. If a baby refuses to go to sleep, is she resisting a rest?
15. How did the baby know it was time for her to be born? She was running out of womb.
16. I used to work on an assembly line making pregnancy pamphlets, but I quit. I got tired of labor manuals.
17. How do you get an astronaut’s baby to sleep? You rocket.
Dad Jokes About Babies
18. What do you call a group of baby soldiers? An infantry.
19. Mom: “Why is there a strange baby in the crib?” Dad: “You told me to change the baby.”
20. What do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles? Stop watching and untie him from the ceiling fan.
21. My baby just ate a bunch of scrabble tiles. The next diaper change could spell disaster.
22. Woman: “Should I have a baby after 37?” Doctor: “No! 37 children is enough!”
23. Teacher: “Give me a sentence about a public servant.” Student: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” Teacher: “Do you know what pregnant means?” Student: “Yes, it means you’re carrying a child.”
24. Why do we dress babies in onesies? Because they can’t dress themselves.
Delivery and Newborn Jokes
25. The nurse told the parents of a newborn, “You have a really cute baby.” The wife said, “I bet you say that to all new parents.” “No,” she replied. “Just to those whose babies really are actually cute.” The wife asked, “So, what do you say to the others?” The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you!”
25. A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Shouldn’t! Doesn’t! Can’t!” “Oh my God, what’s going on?” asked her concerned husband. “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
26. What do you call a newborn baby? Anything you want.
27. I told my friends a joke about birth complications, but people didn’t find it funny. It must have come out wrong.
28. My newborn son made such a fuss when the doctor cut his umbilical cord. He had really grown attached to it.
29. I would make a joke about newborns…But the delivery would be too painful.
Pregnancy Jokes and Puns
30. Did you know that your chances of becoming pregnant are hereditary? The chances are that if your parents didn’t get pregnant, you won’t either.
31. Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? Its period came too late.
32. How many days are there in a month? On average, there are between 28-31 days per month except the last month of pregnancy, which has 29,389,083 days.
33. What is the most common pregnancy craving? For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
34. People are giving birth underwater now. They say it’s less traumatic for the baby because it’s in the water, but it’s certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
Did these jokes make you laugh so hard, the baby kicked? Did they help you to get through one more diaper change? Perhaps you told one to your newborn child, and it made them laugh, too! We hope you enjoyed these jokes.
Are there any jokes about pregnancy, baby showers, or babies that we missed? Did you have a favorite joke? Feel free to share with us in the chat!