As equestrian lovers, it can be difficult sometimes to express the pure joy that comes to us when someone uses horse puns or drops some horse jokes. Sometimes, we start laughing until our throats are a little horse!
We have compiled some horse puns and horse jokes that you can tell all of your friends back home in the stables! In this list, you will find everything from horse puns to jokes to horse memes.
We promise not to say anything too foal! So saddle up, and enjoy the bouncy ride. If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick!
Funny Horse Puns
- My horse invited me to church. I was nervous at first, but she promised me it wasn’t a colt.
- A bunch of ponies were foaling around in a classroom. The stubborn teacher snorted and said, “It would be-hoof you to pay attention.”
- My boss got fired today. He got knocked off his high horse.
- Why did the foal have to go to sleep? It was pasture bedtime!
- Why did the pony get sent home from school? She was feeling a little hoarse.
- I knew this horse once that had an addiction to hay. He tried to quit colt turkey, but it didn’t work.
- Why did the foal get in trouble at school? She was horsing around!
- What happened when they invited the controversial speaker on horses? He tried to stir up a lot of equestrians!
- Have you seen the movie Spirit? It’s a cult classic!
- Why don’t horses want to be left behind? They hay-te being left out!
- Why don’t you look a gimp horse in the mouth? The horse might stirrup some trouble!
- My foal is scared to go back into the stable. She swears her neighbor is in a colt!
- We had a substitute today. He had to ask me how to pronounce my neigh-me.
- Why didn’t the mare like reading funny horse puns on the internet? Some of the puns were too foal!
- Do you know the best thing to keep your mane clean? A colt shower!
- The teacher yelled at the horse for foaling around. She yelled, “You can’t mane me!”
- What do you do when your coworker asks you to stop making horse jokes? Tell them to stop being so a-hoof.
- A man decided riding a horse would be easy. When he fell off, he realized it wasn’t in-neigh-te.
- My horse loves music! His favorite song is “A Crazy Thing Colt Love”.
Horse Racing Puns
- Have you heard about the jockey who couldn’t find a horse? It’s a real tale of whoa.
- Why did the jockey refuse to race? His life coach told him to get off his high horse.
- Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? It’s not that stable of an income!
- Have you heard about what happened to the horse who didn’t run out of the gate? It got colt feet!
- What happens if there is a close finish in a horse race? The ending comes into equestrian!
- Did you hear about the horse that cheated in the derby? They found a lot of foal play!
- Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? He was banned and barned for being too good!
- Why don’t jockeys like horse puns? It makes their throats a little horse from laughing too much!
- What do you call a horse that never loses a race? A Sherbet!
- Why should people never be rude to jump jockeys? They will always take offense!
- Why is the Kentucky Derby always done in the middle of spring? Because winter is too colt.
Horse Walks In Jokes
- A horse walks into work looking very sad. The bartender asked, “Why such a long face?”
- A horse walks into a restaurant. The hostess said hey. The horse replied, “You read my mind!”
- A horse walked into a therapist’s office looking upset. The therapist asked, “Why such a long face?” The horse replied, “I hate my job!” “Why don’t you quit?” the therapist asks. The horse replies: “I can’t! I need a stable income.”
- A horse walks into a school and says hey. The bartender, full of shock, says, “Holy pony! A talking horse!”
Dad Jokes About Horses
- Where do horses get their furniture? The Pottery Barn!
- “I had the worst nightmare ever!” My horse said. “What was it?” “I showed up to school, but I was neigh-ked.”
- Have you watched the newest scary movie about horses? Don’t! It’ll give you a night-mare!
- Do you know what happened to the man that tried to wash the horse’s mane? He ran out of sham-pony!
- What do you call a horse that’s good at riding? A stable mode of transportation!
- Have you heard of the neigh-metal band, The Foals? They have a real colt following!
- Why did the horse’s check bounce? He forgot to put more mon-hay into his barn account.
- Did you see the mare at the stable dance? She impressed all the horses with her whip and neigh neigh.
- What is a horse’s favorite television show? Kitchen Night-Mare!
- Why can a farmer always trust a horse? Because they grew up in a stable household!
- Why don’t you look into a horse’s mouth? They might be a little hoarse!
- What did the horse say when he wouldn’t eat his hay off the ground? “What do you think I am? Some kind of animal!”
- Why wouldn’t the pony stay up pasture bedtime? If she doesn’t wake up on time, she smells foal because she couldn’t shower.
- What do you call a horse that has a ton of money in the bank? Financially stable!
- Have you heard the story about the horse that ran away? It was a real tale of whoa!
- What do you say to people that ride tall mares? Get off your high horse!
- How did the pony win the hide and seek game? Every time her friend started looking, she’d run right pasture!
- Have you ever met a horse that could make a sandwich? I did, but they used too much mayo-neighs!
- Why couldn’t the horse get a verified Twitter account? His ID was pony.
- I didn’t like the horse comedian that much. All his jokes were about bad mare-ages.
Best Horse Puns Names
- Maple Stirrup
- My Little Pony
- Kim Equestrian
- Al Ca-Pony
- The Mane Attraction
- Whinny the Pooh
- Harry Trotter
- Dapple Ganger
- Chuck Horse-iss
Did you find a pun that could be your next great dad joke? Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! Although the awkward dad joke silence must have been ringing in your ears, we hope you found a horse pun or two that you can use the next time you go to the stables. Thanks for going along for the ride with us!
Do you have any funny horse jokes that we forgot to include? If so, please leave a comment below! Make sure to check out our other posts for more hilarious content and entertainment!