Have you been craving a great glass of 2% milk and cookies? Perhaps while you are enjoying your morning yogurt or the occasional cheese stick, you think to yourself, “I wonder how many funny milk puns there are in the world.”
Well, you’re in luck! We compiled 60 of the funniest milk puns and jokes that have ever existed! We milk everything out of these puns. Below, you’ll find funny jokes about milk, dairy puns, and even about puns!
We promise these won’t leave a sour taste in your mouth. Feel free to pour yourself a glass of milk because we got milk jokes. Enjoy!
Funny Milk Puns
- My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
- I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
- Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
- Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
- I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
- Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
- Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
- Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
- What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
- What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
- What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Funny Milk Jokes
- What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
- I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
- What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
- I brought some spoiled milk to my first economics class. I heard we’d be learning about gross domestic products, and I thought bringing an example would give me extra credit.
- Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
- Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
- Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
- Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
- What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
- Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
- I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
- There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
- Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
- What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
- Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
- Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
- My dad landed a job at the local dairy factory. He’s the dairy cow-ordinator!
- How often do cows go to gyms? Dairy.
- Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
- What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
- Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
- No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
- Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
- What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
- Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
- What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
- How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
- What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Cow Milk Puns
- Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
- What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
- My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
- I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
- Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
- What do you call a cow that is very religious? A Holy Cow!
- Did you hear about the fight between two cows? It ended in a kno-cow-t.
- Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
- What’s a cow’s favorite Halloween song? The Muenster Mash!
- Why did the dairy cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!
- What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
- Why don’t cows have any money? The farmers keep milking them dry!
- Why did they recruit a cow to join the army? It was an expert at cow-moo-flauging!
- Did you hear what happened to the farm that had a mad cow disease outbreak? It resulted in udder chaos!
- How did the dairy farmer find his missing cow? He slowly tractor down.
Dad Jokes About Milk
- Mom: Could you pick some milk up?
Dad: *Lifts a gallon of milk above his head.
Mom: I mean from the store!
Dad: I don’t think they’ll weigh any different.
- Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
- Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
- Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
- Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
60. Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Did you enjoy these delicious milk puns? We hope they left a satisfying feeling in your gut, and they weren’t too cheesey. Feel free to share these amazing milk puns with your friends, family, and even your local dairy farmer!
Which one was your favorite? Are there any that we missed? Comment your thoughts below.