A mustache has got to be the most iconic facial hair option of all time. It’s easy to grow, it’s a sign of manliness, and it makes for some great puns.
I’m sure you’ve seen a mustache before. You may even be wearing one right now! But did you know that there is such a thing as mustache puns?
“What did the pirate say to the barber?
Argh, shave-er me timbers!”
Well, if you’re looking for a list of mustache puns, this post is going to have you covered.
This blog post will explore all of the best moustache puns and jokes, and provide you with some comedy relief that’ll last until the cows come home!.
Some are good, and some are better. But all of them will make you laugh.
Mustache Puns, To Get Rid Of Those ‘Hairy,’ Tense Situations
- I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!
- Is that a moustache, or did your eyebrows come on down for a drink?
- Hey, I moustache a question! Can eyebrows your computer for the answer?
- I offered my coworker a sincere compliment on their moustache the other day. But guess what happened? She filed a complaint with human resources!
- When I was younger, I never really liked the idea of having a moustache. But then, it started to grow on me!
- Well, I spent years looking for the perfect moustache. But then, I realized the truth. It was under my nose the whole time!
More Funny Mustache Puns, For Those Who Appreciate A True Crumb-Catcher When They See One!
- I had a friend who always wore a mask, so he grew a moustache without anyone noticing it. I guess you could say that he had a secret stache!
- How did the moustache plan for supporting its family after it passed away? With a shavings account!
- There was a knock at the door, so the butler went and answered it. A few moments later, he comes in and tells the man of the house that there’s a man at the door with a moustache. “Tell him to go away,” the man of the house proclaimed. “I’ve already got a moustache, and I don’t need another!”
- I noticed that all the women were drawing on their eyebrows, so yesterday I went to work with a drawn-on moustache. Imagine my surprise when everything called me an idiot!
Funny Mustache Jokes That Are ‘Hairy Fun’
- I went to this christening the other day, and the priest was wearing the weirdest outfit. He was wearing glasses, a fake nose, a wig, and a fake moustache. I guess you could say that it was a blessing in disguise!
- What’s another name for centipede? A wall moustache!
- A son texted his dad. “Dad, I’m getting robbed! Help!” The Dad responded quickly. “Quick son, text me a description of him so that we can describe him to the police!” The son texted this. “Six foot beard with green eyes and a moustache.” The Dad texted back immediately. “Good Lord, his beard sounds terrifying!”
- What kind of moustache does a bicycle grow? A handlebar moustache!
- My dad always used to say “Some men have a midlife crisis and end up buying a small car to feel better. But real men grow moustaches and get over it!”
Mustache One Liners, For Men Committed To Seeing Things Through
- My dad always used to say that “growing a moustache is a man’s way of taking his life by the horns and deciding to be more attractive and successful!”
- How is a moustache similar to wine and cheese? Easy… they all tend to get better with time!
- Where does a bum grow a moustache? On his bottom lip!
- What do you call it when a man grows a moustache on his cheek? A misstache!
- Where are old and legendary moustaches kept? In a moseum!
- I had no idea that my wife had placed a fake moustache on the squash. When I went to pick it up, it really caught me off gourd!
- What did the philosophical moustache say about the suffering of the world? A moustache must ache!
- What do you call a moustache who delivers ice-cold dairy drinks right to your front door? A milk moustache!
- How did the moustache end up homeless? He lost his job and had no shavings!
- While eyebrows the internet, you moustache yourself the hard questions, and decide whether to mullet over or not!
- What is a cow’s favorite type of facial hair? A moo-stache!
- I once asked a great tree what the best facial hair style was. After thinking about it for a long time, the tree replied: “A moss-stache, of course!”
- How do you say ‘happy birthday’ to a man with a moustache? Tell him to have a fan-tache-stick birthday!
Mustache Pick Up Lines, For That ‘Funny Guy With Mustache Style’
- Hey, I saw you checking out my facial hair. We moustache (must-dash) out of here and get to know each other better!
- Guy with moustache: “Hey, what do you call the woman who’s not talking to the guy with the moustache?”
Woman: “I don’t know, what?”
Guy with moustache: “Jealous!”
- Guy with moustache: “How can you tell the difference between a man with a moustache and a man without one?”
Woman: “I don’t know. How?”
Guy with moustache: “The man with the moustache is the attractive one!”
- Guy with moustache: “Hey, do you know what a moustache tells you about a man?”
Woman: “No, what?”
Guy with moustache: “That he’s patient, and knows the importance of waiting for good things to happen!”
Well, there you have it.
All of the best, funniest, most awesome mustache jokes on the internet!
Did we forget any?
Feel free to leave a comment and share it.
Also don’t forget to check out some of our other joke and pun posts.
Have a good one!
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