Peaches are mainly known for their beautiful color, flavor, and amazing puns. If you’re feeling down in the pits or not feeling very peachy, these peach puns will cheer you right up! Below, you will find some amazing funny jokes about peaches.
We have everything from peach puns to peachy pick-up lines. We even have funny peach jokes that you can share with your dad!
So, grab some peaches and cream and sit down to enjoy these 50 amazingly delicious peach puns. Make sure to share some with your friends!
- What advice did the ripe fruit give to the unripe fruit? Make sure you always practice what you peach!
- Did you see those two nectarines in the fruit basket? They look perfect for peach other!
- What right do American peaches hold dear to their heart? Freedom of peach!
- What do fruit biologists use to look at bacteria? A Peach Tree Dish!
- What do fruits use to play volleyball? A peach ball!
- Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
- What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
- I told a bunch of peach puns to my friends, and none of them laughed. It was pretty pit-iful.
- What did they put on the nectarine’s gravestone when he died? Rest in peach.
- How does a peach say goodbye? Peach out.
- What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
- Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
- Why did the peach go to jail? He was a bank cobbler.
- Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
- Have you heard about the fruit that made everyone feel fuzzy? She was a real peach.
- What do you call a fruit that falls in love? Peachy-keen!
Funny Peach Jokes
- In Twilight, Bella tried to take Edward apple picking. It didn’t work out so well. He kept wandering off to find the neck-tarines!
- Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
- What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? You want a peach of me
- What did the peach say after its friend got blunt with them? I a-peach-iate your apology.
- Why should you always hire a peach to make your sneakers? They make great cobblers.
- What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
- Why do peaches need to wear deodorant and apples don’t? Peaches have pits.
- Did you hear about the rival peaches? They’ve been pitted against one another since birth.
- Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
- Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
- Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
- Why did the Atlanta Falcons draft Kyle Pitts? Georgia loves peaches.
Peach Jokes for Dads
- My dad gave me a nectarine. I told him that I preferred pears. After that, my dad gave me a second peach.
- What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
- Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
- Why didn’t the nectarine finish his term as president? He got impeached.
- Who’s the greatest fruit video game character of all time? Princess Peach
- Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
- Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
- How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
- What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
- An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
- Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
- What did the peach farmer do when he got mad at his fruit? He pruned them.
- What do you call a man who never stops eating peaches? The bottomless pit.
- Man: Doctor, peaches keep growing out of my arms. What should I do?
Doctor: Just put some cream on it.
- Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
Peachy Pick-Up Lines
- Do you run an orchard? Because I always feel so peachy when I’m around you.
- Woman: Why are we eating canned peaches for dinner?
Man: Because, you’ll have a peach of my heart forever.
- Are nectarines your favorite fruit? Because your beauty left me peachless.
- Woman: How’s your day going?
Man: Peachy since I’ve seen you.
- Are you from Georgia? Because I’ve never seen a woman so peachy before.
- Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
- Are you a Georgia peach? Because you are making me feel all fuzzy.
Did you enjoy these funny peach puns? Did you find a few that you can share with your friends? Feel free to share this article with them!
Perhaps you came up with a few more hilarious peach puns and jokes. Please share them with us in the comment section below!!!
Ready for more laughs? Fear not. We got ’em.
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