Looking for some awesome rock jokes that didn’t come from the stone age?
Maybe you’re a comedian looking to keep your career from hitting rock bottom, so you’re looking for some new material?
In any case, these funny rock jokes, boulder puns, and stone puns will help you to create some solid laughs amongst your friends.
They’re sure to make you the star of the show.
Let’s dig in and dig some up!
These Hot Rock Jokes Were Magma Before They Were Cool!
- What’s black, blue, purple, yellow, and white? Opal, sardonyx, and sugilite all fighting over a gumball!
- What did the sneaky diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing silly. Rocks don’t talc!
- Why aren’t tectonic plates perfect? Because they all have their faults.
- What does gold say to pyrite? Not only are you a fool, but you’re also fake!
- Oh, you can’t stand rock jokes? I share that sediment with you!
- Hey, did you hear about that geologist who was getting divorced? Apparently, he was taking his wife for granite!
- Why don’t geologists ever get hungry? Because they tend to lose their apatite!
- Did you hear what Darth Vader told the geologist? May the quartz be with you!
- I found some super-cheap sedimentary rock at the store the other day. I guess you could say that I found it on shale!
- Why did the geologist often get depressed? Because he had a hard rock life!
- Why did the geologist ask the girl on a date to the quarry? Because he wanted to be a little boulder!
- Why do geologists make great boyfriends? Because they’re so sedimental!
- What did the teenage rock say after failing its math test? I don’t wanna talc about it!
Wanna Hear Some Awesome Rock Puns? Hold On, I’ll Dig Something Up…
- Why is the moon tastier than earth? Because it’s a little meteor!
- What do you call the periodic table if ‘gold’ is missing? Au revoir!
- What do you say about comedians who only tell geologist jokes? You know they’ve officially hit rock bottom!
- How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-it!
- I met this new rock the other day. He was a gneiss guy!
- Hey, did you hear about the geologist who went to prison? He was charged with basalt and battery!
- I finally figured out why everyone is buying so much toilet paper. Apparently, everyone is afraid that an asteroid is going to hit the earth… and paper beats rock!
- Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll!
- Why shouldn’t you ever loan a geologist money? Because they consider 1 million years ago to be a ‘recent event!’
- What do you call a rock that constantly misses school? A skipping stone!
- When I asked the tectonic plates why they broke up, this is what she said. “It wasn’t my fault. There was just too much friction!”
- What do you do with deceased geologists? You barium!
- Name a rock group made up of four men who don’t sing? Mount Rushmore!
- I asked the geology student why he was choosing to study geology. His reply was simple. Because it rocks!
- Where do rocks usually sleep? In bedrock!
- What was the geologist’s favorite rock band? The Rolling Stones!
- What did the extremely metamorphic rock say while undertaking the test. This is just too much pressure!
Rock One-Liners… So You’ll Never Hit Rock Bottom When You Need A Gem Of A Joke
- What’s a geologist’s favorite way to relax? In a rocking chair!
- What is a rock’s favorite thing to eat? Pom-a-granite!
- What did the infatuated boy volcano say to the beautiful girl volcano? I really lava you!
- Rock puns have always been funny. But they reached their height of popularity during the stone age!
- There was once a great motivational speaker who was also a rock. His greatest truth was this… that you should never take life for granite!
- I went to this shop the other day, and they tried to sell me a fake Irish gem. It was a total sham-rock!
- Why don’t minerals ever lie? Because they’ve always existed in their purest form.
- Watson once asked Sherlock Holmes: What type of rock is this? It’s amazing! Sherlock Holmes answered with this: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson!
- What do you call it when a rock starts over? He’s starting with a clean slate!
- What do you call a geologist’s career when it’s just about over? On the rocks!
- What do geologists say when they’re getting ready for commitment? It’s all ore nothing!
- What did the geologist’s wife say when he didn’t come home? Where were you? I was quarried sick!
- Did you hear about the geologists who stopped talking to each other? Apparently, their relationship eroded slowly over time.
- What did the rock say when people kept asking him about the incident? Stop! I don’t wanna chalk about it!
- What did the comedy fan say to the rock comedian? Wow, some of your jokes flourite over my head!
- When the king rock stood before his people, they gravel-ed at his feet!
- What did the hipster rock say? I liked carbon before it was coal!
- What did the encouraging rock say to the shy rock? Don’t be shy. You’re coal as a cucumber!
- Parent: Why is my child in trouble?
Teacher: Because on his test, when we asked him what his favorite types of rocks were, he listed classic, heavy, and punk!
- What did the motivational rock say to the shy rock who was afraid of public speaking? It’s okay, you just have to be boulder during your presentations!
There you have it! More puns about rocks than you can throw a stone at!
Fun fact; did you know that, unlike these jokes, 80% of the gold in the world is still buried underground?
Hopefully, these jokes about rocks have given you all the joke-gold you’ll ever need.
Feel free to check out some of our other joke posts and hilarious pun articles.
Did you like these jokes? Did you see a rock joke we missed? Drop a comment and let us know.
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