Have you been known to take a shine to funny shoe jokes?
Well, this post will have your laugh-laces all tied up in knots!
Discover the best clever shoe puns, funny shoe jokes, funny shoe names, and more.
If shoe humor is what your sole has been craving, this is the post for you!
From puns, to jokes, to one-liners, to pick-up lines, this is where you’ll find the jokes that’ll take you places!
Let’s jump in.
Shoe Puns – So You Won’t Put Your Foot In Your Mouth At Your Next Comedy Hour…
- A friend of mine has this talent for making clown shoes. It’s no small feet!
- I went to the gas station yesterday to fill up my tank. It was a wet, wintery day. But the pump didn’t work, so I went inside to see what was wrong. Walking up to the counter, I saw a young woman working the register. “Excuse me, are your pumps on?” I asked her. She rolled her eyes. “No, not in this weather. I’m wearing Ugg boots!”
- I had this friend who couldn’t figure out how to untie his shoelaces. So I bought him a one-way ticket to boot camp!
- The worst job I ever had was at a shoe recycling center. It was literally sole-destroying!
- What footwear do philosophers wear? Sock-rates!
- A man with two left feet once walked into a shoe shop. He walked right up to the clerk and said: “Excuse me, do you have any flip flops?”
- What did the scout hat say to the scout shoe? I’ll go on ahead. You go on foot and catch up later!
- This famous racehorse walked into a fancy restaurant with his entourage. But the waiter, upon giving them a once-over, immediately said “you can’t eat here with those trainers!”
- What kind of shoe do spaceships wear? High heels!
- How do you make sneakers out of trees? Wooden you like to know!
- What kind of shoes are most popular with mice? Squeakers!
- What did the clown say to his apprentice right before retirement? Clown, you’ve got some big shoes to fill!
- What type of joke do shoelaces like to tell? Knot knot jokes!
- I think our local police horse has a dodgy shoe situation going on. He’s always going good clop, bad clop!
- Yesterday, I had an interview for a blacksmith position. He asked me if I had ever shoed a horse. I told him that I hadn’t, but that I did tell a donkey to go away once!
- What kind of shoes does a frog wear? Open-toad!
- What do you call a french man in beach sandals? Philippe Philoppe!
- Why do grizzly bears never wear socks or shoes? Because they prefer bear feet!
Funny Shoe Jokes, To Fill Those ‘Clown Shoes’ At Your Next Party…
- What animal is most likely to wear shoes to bed? A horse!
- What is Captain Hook’s least favorite type of shoe? Crocs!
- What types of shoes do artists wear? Sketchers!
- Why did the banker refuse to buy velcro shoes? Because they were a rip off!
- How do social shoes talk to one-another? They converse!
- What type of shoes do spies wear? Sneakers!
- What do you call it when someone throws two banana peels on the ground? Slippers!
- What was the goose’s favorite type of shoe? Duck Martens!
- What type of shoe does bread wear? A pair of loafers!
- Yesterday, I stepped on some gum by the side of the road. And guess what? I haven’t stopped sole searching since that moment!
- Wanna hear about an impossible feet? Trying to fit into a size 6 shoe when you’re a size 10!
- What order did the governor give when he learned that marauding gangs were looting the local clothing store? Shoe to kill!
- Why did the entire Church congregation put their best foot forward? Because the preacher said he wanted to heel the masses!
- Jokes on social media can travel thousands of miles in an instant. You could say that they have ‘legs’ of their own!
- What do you call a 50th-anniversary dinner at a school for shoe menders? A bunch of old cobblers!
- How does a rainstorm tie its shoelaces? With a rain-bow!
Shoe One-Liners – So You Won’t Have To Flip-Flop On Your Next Comedy Routine!
- What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? Ahhh-shoe!
- Why do all shoemakers go to heaven? Because they all have good soles!
- What was the plumber’s least-favorite type of shoe? A clog!
- What has six eyes, a sole, and a tongue? A shoe!
- If a postal worker is 6 foot tall, and wears size 10 shoes, what does he weigh? Packages!
- This one guy I knew was always late. So he started putting herbs into his shoes. Why? So that he could be on Thyme!
- Why did Santa keep wearing out his shoes? Because he had missile toes!
- Why is shoe leather sometimes so stubborn? Because it can’t be suede!
- Did you hear about that fire in the shoe factory? Unfortunately… many soles were lost!
- What happened when the teacher tied the shoelaces of all her students together? They ended up going on a class trip!
- Why did the shoe show up late for class? He was apparently tied up!
- Why did the business shoe eat yeast and shoe polish every day? So that he could rise and shine!
- What was the car’s favorite kind of sneaker? Vans!
Our Favorite Shoe Knock-Knock Joke!
- Knock knock.
Wooden shoe, who?
Wooden shoe like to know?!
Shoe Pick Up Lines – For Love That’s Literally ‘Shoe Shined’
- Hey, wanna be my sole mate?
- What did one shoe say to the other? You’re beautiful! Wanna go for a walk together?
Hopefully, you enjoyed these fantastic, hilarious show jokes.
They were definitely our favorites.
Make sure to check out our other hilarious joke posts.
Did you like any of these shoe jokes? Did you see one that we forgot to include? Leave a comment and let us know.
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