Spiders, although small, they tend to instill fear in some people. In fact, some people have a phobia of spiders, known as arachnophobia. What is it about these small arachnids that has us shaken up at times? Is it because almost all spiders have venom, tend to bite, and vary in sizes ranging from small to big?
Or is it just their mere appearance? Whatever the reason spiders instill fear, there weren’t any to keep us from writing jokes about them.
Therefore, to help mellow down spider fears and bring some humor into your day, we have rounded up quite a few spider funnies for you to enjoy. Keep reading to begin creeping and crawling right into our spider jokes!
Funny Spider Jokes
- What did the spider go to school for? To become a web designer.
- I never panic when a spider gets on my keyboard, because I always have it under Ctrl.
- What do tops and spiders have in common? They both do a lot of spinning.
- Why can’t spiders knit? Because they only know how to spin.
- How do spiders swim? With their webbed feet.
- Which type of spiders go undercover? Spy-ders.
- Why are spiders bad on the road? Because they tend to spin.
- What do you call spiders that were recently married? Newly webs.
- How was the spider able to kiss his secret crush? By playing spin the bottle.
- Why can’t you separate two spiders fighting each other? Because they’re in a tangled web.
- Why did the spider steal data from a computer? Because he was a web hacker.
- What did the flies say to the spider that ate their friend? You’re a real buzz kill.
- What do spiders like to eat when they visit France? French Flies.
- Why did the spider want to work at a dealership? Because he wanted to take the cars out for spins.
- What do flies call homes with spiders? No fly zones.
Spinning Up More Spider Jokes
We have spun up more spider funny jokes for you to enjoy. Check them out below:
- Where is the best place to buy a pet spider? On the web.
- What do spiders eat at a barbeque? Corn on the cobweb.
- Why do you see a lot of spider webs in hunted houses? Because ghosts can’t break through the webs.
- What do lizards like to drink during the fall? Apple spider.
- What day out of the week do spiders like best? Flyday.
- On what day do spiders go to church? Spun-day.
- When do spiders celebrate Valentines Day? Web-uary 14th.
- Did you hear about the two spiders that got married? They had a beautiful webbing!
- How can spiders communicate with each other internationally? Through the world wide web.
- Why do spiders make shirts out of webs? To catch flies as they walk.
- How do you know if a spider went inside your ear? Your head will start to spin.
- What do spiders like best about computers? Their webcams.
- What is the difference between a young spider and an old spider? One spins the web, the other surfs the web and creates his own websites.
- Why are spiders banned from being pilots? Because they only know how to tailspin.
- Did you hear how the spider found his girlfriend? It was through the silky web-site.
A Web full of Spider Jokes
- What’s red, sticky, sweet, and dangerous? Strawberry and tarantula jelly.
- Why were one hundred spiders on a tire? Because they were spinning a wheel. What happens when you bring a spider and an ear of a corn together? You create cobwebs.
- Why are spiders good at baseball? Because they are good at catching all the flies.
- What sport’s team has 72 legs and catches flies? A spider baseball team.
- The poor daddy long leg spider fell and broke his legs. Now he is daddy short legs.
- Why did the pet spider keep getting lost? Because his leash was too loose.
- What T.V. show do spiders enjoy watching the most? The newly web game.
- What type of doctor do political spiders like to see? A spin doctor.
- Why was the teen spider grounded? For spending too much time on the web and not enough time on his homework.
- Why don’t you see any flies at a witch’s house? Because they have a lot of pet spiders.
- What sport do spiders enjoy when they go outside? Fly fishing.
- What do spiders check on their computers? Their websites.
Crawling Into a Few More Spider Jokes
Check out these last few spider jokes to add a little more laughter to your day:
- When does a spider call a tech support office? When he’s having trouble connecting to the web.
- Did you see that huge spider? It was eight feet tall!
- What is the name of the person who speaks up for spiders? Peter Parker.
- Why did the lady kill the spider with a bar of soap? Because she wanted to give him a clean death.
- What are spider children called? Arach-kids.
- Why are spiders great musicians? Because they can play many instruments with their eight legs.
- What type of music do spiders like best? Swing.
- What music app do spiders use the most? Spot-a-fly.
- What do you call a bug with eight legs that survived getting killed by hairspray? A spider with a great hair-do.
- What do spiders use to cross reference health issues? WebMd.
- Careful not to trust spiders, you never know if they post something about you on the web.
We hope to have calmed your fears about spiders while spinning with laughter with these funny spider jokes. There is nothing like a good laugh to add cheer at any time of the day, even if it is about spiders.
Ready for more laughs? Fear not. We got ’em.