47 Funny Turtle Jokes That Are Shell-arious! 

Turtles are very unique reptiles, and it is not just because of their physical appearance nor because they have been around for more than 100 million years! The pace in which they move, the shell that protects them from predators, are only some of the unique characteristics that set them apart from other animals. It is no wonder that turtles are often chosen as main characters for children’s fables and super heroes lead by Master Splinter.  

Young and old can be drawn to turtles and the fictional characters that have been inspired by them.  So, the next time you and your loved ones have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles marathon, or you visit turtles at the zoo, we have the perfect turtle jokes for you to share with your loved ones!

Funny Turtle Jokes

These funny turtle jokes are just what you need to begin sharing laughter with your loved ones:

1. 1. Where do turtles go when their gas meter reads empty? The Shell Gas Station. 
   2. Why were the two turtle friends looking at their phone? Because they were taking shellfies. 
   3. What type of phone do turtles like to use? A Shellphone.
   4. Why was the turtle so popular? Because he was a shell-ebrity. 
   5. What do you call a turtle in a porcupine costume? A slow poke. 
   6. Why do turtles avoid eating food from drive-thru places? Because they do not like fast food, only slow food. 
   7. That turtle only sleeps during the day and is awake during the night, it must be noc-turtle. 
   8. Why did the turtle pursue a career in photography? Because he wanted to become a snapping turtle.
   9. Turtles have really good memories thanks to their turtle recall. 
   10. Everyone knows, that turtles only cross the road when they are heading to the Shell Station. 
   11. Why did the turtle get married? Because he was “turtle-ally in love”.
   12. Why do turtles avoid electricity? Because they don’t want to become shell-shocked. 
   13. Why are turtles good at telling jokes? Because they know all the shell-larious ones. 
   14. What do turtles wear when they ride a motorcycle? A shell-met. 

Shell-arious Turtle Jokes

We have more shell-arious jokes for you to enjoy. Check out these turtle funnies down below: 

1. What is a turtle’s favorite type of romantic dance? A slow dance. 
2. What did the musician turtle do when he fell on his back while dancing? He rocked and he rolled. 
3. Where did the turtle who got caught committing a crime go? To the shell block. 
4. Mrs. Turtle was a good teacher, she tortoise well. 
5. Did you hear about the celebration that went bad? It was a turtle disaster!
6. Why was the turtle chef fired from the restaurant? Because he was a slow-cooker. 
7. What do you call a turtle flying in the air? A shellicopter.
8. How were the turtle parents able to send their son to college? By shelling out a lot of money. 
9. What do you call a turtle in a pig costume? A slow pork. 
10. What does the turtle say every time he wins a race? Let’s shell-abrate!
11. What do a turtle and a llama have in common? Their love for turtle neck sweaters. 

More Funny Turtle Jokes 

Funny turtle jokes may tempt you to slow down with laughter, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the following jokes:

1. Snapping turtles only take two kinds of photos, shellfies and slowfies. 
2. What did the surfing turtle say after catching a big wave? “That was turtle-ally awesome!” 
3. What did the turtle hear from the cow that was standing behind him? “Get a mooove on!” 
4. What do you call a turtle in red, white, and blue? A patriotic turtle.
5. What do turtles like best about the winter? The slowflakes. 
6. What is a kid turtle’s favorite game? Peek-a-boo. 
7. Why are turtles very kind and giving? Because they are not shell-fish.
8. Which turtles make it really easy to find them? Green “see” turtles. 
9. How did the turtle’s wish come true? He made a wish on a wishing shell. 
10. What happens when a train full of sea turtles crashes with a truck full of terrapins? A turtle disaster occurs. 
11. Why are turtles good at taking tests? Because they have turtle recall. 
12. What’s green, round, has a shell, and six feet? A 6 foot turtle. 
13. I asked a librarian for a book about turtles. The librarian said “Hardback”? and I replied, “Yes, and little heads”. 

Funny Ninja Turtle Jokes 

You can’t have turtle jokes without mentioning the iconic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. For those of you who are fans, check out these funny jokes about them and a little more: 

1. What do the ninja turtles do every time they defeat the foot clan? They throw a shell-abration.
2. Careful not to mess with the Ninja Turtles, or else you will get shell shocked. 
3. Why did the ninja turtles pursue a career in crime fighting and not in office work? Because they don’t like the Shredder. 
4. Why is Donatello very good at playing musical instruments? Because he plays by ear. 
5. Why did Crane grab soap when fleeing the ninja turtles? Because he wanted a clean getaway. 
6. Why couldn’t Raphael run after Shredder? Because he didn’t have enough turtle power. 
7. When does Michelangelo have a hard time seeing? When he goes undercover. 
8. Where did Shredder recruit Leatherhead? In the alley-gator. 
9.  Never carve out Ninja turtles out of wood or else you will end up with Splinters. 

We have supplied you with all sorts of turtle funnies. Even a Ninja Turtle joke to share during a turtle-ally awesome TMNT marathon. These jokes are great to share with loved ones and kiddos when heading to the zoo, purchasing a pet turtle, or students who are going to learn everything about turtles.

However, you don’t have to limit these turtle-ally awesome jokes there, feel free to spread a little bit of shell-ariousness into other people’s day!